What kind of boy, the long meeting has a good future?Time:2019-09-10 | Release:Inspirational | Category:family Education
What kind of boy, the long meeting has a good future?
All Chinese parents are "seeking children into dragons" and "looking for women into phoenixes", especially the boys at home, but they are placed higher expectations.
In an environment of increasingly fierce competition, a boy who has no interest in the future will face not only a problem of poor life, but even a wife and a family.
In the end, how to raise a son is the most promising, and has always been the most concerned issue for moms and dads.
Mr. Chen Qi, who has been engaged in children's education research for many years in the Chinese Academy of Sciences, said that when she shared the parental experience with her parents, she said:
"If parents can do the following, the boy will definitely be great when he grows up!"
Father brings a big boy, grows bigger and more promising
A foreign education institution has conducted a survey and the results show that:
About 71% of the young people who dropped out of high school were from families without fathers;
Of the youth suicide groups, 63% are from families without fathers;
Of the young murderers, 72% are from families without fathers;
Therefore, children who are seriously lacking in parental love during their growth are more likely to have serious problems in their personality and psychology.
Those who have fathers involved in the process of growing up are much more fortunate. The healthy growth of a boy is achieved by observing and imitating his father:
By observing his father's words and deeds, the boy can realize that men should be strong and brave;
By observing his father's attitude towards life and work, the boy can learn the responsibility and responsibility of the man!
In addition, compared with the delicate and meticulousness of the mother when taking the child, the father brings the child more "casual" and "thick lines", which in turn helps to exercise the boy's independence.
A boy who does not suffer from domestic violence, grows up more
Many families are more "violent" when they are raising a boy, because the boy's lively and active personality always makes people feel "very skinny" and "very Amoy", so the boy is beaten and beaten more often than the girl. want more.
But for the boy, the rude education method is not only difficult to make him soft, but also makes him more and more jealous. Such a child will be particularly difficult to manage during adolescence!
"If you can't be friends with boys when you are young, when the boy is in adolescence, he will treat you as an enemy."
Therefore, boys also need care and consideration in the process of parenting.
When he is mischievous, don't rush to yell at him. You can kneel down and look at his eyes. He speaks calmly and firmly says your dissatisfaction:
"I know that you really want to eat ice cream, but you have already eaten one. As a man, you have to be like a father, take care of your mouth and be responsible for your body!"
Appropriate "poorly raised" boys, grow up more promising
When a boy grows up, he must take on more family responsibilities than the girl.
However, the boy's sense of responsibility and responsibility are difficult to cultivate in an environment that is too loved and comfortable.
Some mothers love their son too much, afraid that he will suffer and be tired, so he will do the big things for him. No matter what kind of friends you should wash your socks or wash your underwear, you should do it all...
The consequence of this is that it is very easy to raise a Ma Bao male, not only has a poor self-care ability, but also lacks bones and opinions. The mantra that hangs on his lips is "My mom said..."
Some mothers have good family conditions, and they give their son a lot of pocket money. They don’t want to treat children with food, food, or play...
However, the child's sense of money is very weak. He does not know how much 100 yuan is counted, and he does not know how the money is earned, so he will develop a bad problem of squandering at will.
Therefore, a truly wise parent will never make a boy too "rich."
It is the real "spiritual richness" for boys to "hidden half" of love and encourage children to get the other half by their own ability!
The sooner the independent boy grows up, the more he grows up
What is the biggest tragedy of a man?
It is not independent, not responsible!
Colleague Lao Zhang, his son graduated this year, and the school is also a famous brand in the province.
Some time ago, Lao Zhang led his son to a foreign company for an interview and was rejected on the spot.
Lao Zhang was very convinced to ask: "Oh, my son is also a master's degree at a prestigious university. Is it that the education does not meet your requirements?"
The hiring manager of the interview said very straightforwardly: "Your son is 25 years old. He is a man. He has to be accompanied by his father when he finds a job. He prints a resume and asks his father to do it. This is not an independent, immature employee. You Don't open a company."
Then, Zhang Zhang was stunned by this sentence...
So, if you really love your son, you must understand:
The boy is leaving the old family sooner or later. When he is working and starting a family business, he must be the husband and colleague.
If a man wants to succeed , independence and responsibility are the most basic requirements.
The family that "does not take the child seriously" has a more promising boy.
In a family, there are four kinds of relationships in total: husband and wife relationship, parent-child relationship, relationship between grandparents and grandchildren, and the relationship between husband and wife and the elderly.
If we sort the order by importance:
The first place is definitely the “couple relationship”, which is the core of the whole family;
The second place is "parent-child relationship", which is very important for the future and hope of the family;
The third is “the relationship between husband and wife and the elderly”, which represents our gratitude to the old family ;
The last one is the "grandparent relationship", which stands for "past" and "future".
The above sequence is the most stable. It is a prerequisite for the health of a family. If there is a link wrong, this family will be restless.
For example, in some men's minds, his own mother is the most important thing. He decides what to do and what to do, according to his mother's meaning, rather than talking to his wife.
So in this family, the relationship between husband and wife and the elderly has gradually become the most important relationship in the family. The "couple relationship" does not care or matter.
The consequence of this is that it brings irreconcilable contradictions between mother and daughter, which must happen.
In many families, children are the most important. Children are shaped into the hope of the whole family. For the sake of children, they can bear it. Any difficulty can be ignored.
Such parents seem to be great, but they have done something stupid.
When you treat your child as the only one in your family, you will pay too much attention to your child and make many demands. This will actually cause great psychological stress on your child and exacerbate the rebellious and rebellious adolescence. The final effort is not good.
What is the best way?
That is to re-establish the relationship between husband and wife in the first place, and strive to manage the feelings between husband and wife.
In a good relationship between husband and wife, Dad will gradually become optimistic , responsible, and responsible. This is actually the best example for boys. It is more useful than teaching 100 times.
And mom, after the nourishment of love, will be more gentle and optimistic, creating a warm and harmonious family atmosphere, this is the son's best growing environment, 100 times better than any aristocratic school!