When the child says ＂Mom, I don't want to learn＂, your answeTime:2019-09-10 | Release:Inspirational | Category:family Education
When the child says "Mom, I don't want to learn", your answer may change the child's life.
Two days ago, when I sent my child to the calligraphy class, I saw a mother at the entrance of the community. She was carrying the child into the car, and the child was crying and struggling:
"I don't want to learn dance, I don't go, it's too tired..."
Mom roared: "You have to go today, you have to go to me if you don't go!"
In the end, the child still can't beat her mother, got on the bus and went to learn dance.
I can't help but think of a question: Shouldn't you force a child?
When the child frowned and said to us: "Mom, I don't want to learn!"
How should we answer?
Don't let the first time you give up in life so early
In a talk show, Li Yapeng talked about his baby daughter, Li Wei.
Li Wei likes to play the piano. She has been studying for five or six years, but last year, she failed the music theory test, which led to her failure.
On the same day, she was very unhappy, and she lost her temper and said, "Dad, I don't learn!"
At that time, Li Yapeng did not say much. At dinner, Li Yapeng said something like this:
You don't want to take care of it, no problem, life always has to face some abandonment and failure, just like me, I have not passed the test twice, but you are only 12 years old, do you want to make your life's first time Give up 'come so early?
It was this passage that made Li Wei courageous and let the piano teacher once again help her to register for the exam.
Finally, in April this year, Li Wei successfully passed the exam.
Li Yapeng also excitedly posted a picture of Li Wei playing the piano on Weibo, and said that she is Bei Duo, is it cool?
So, kids, don't use this chip a lot, otherwise you will miss the wonderful things you should have.
I think that when I was a child, I didn't like the interest class, just because I lost the time I played the game.
As Cai Kangyong said:
"15 years old feels that swimming is difficult, give up swimming, 18 years old meet a person you like about swimming, you have to say I will not.
At the age of 18, I feel that English is difficult. I give up English. At the age of 28, I have a great job but I want to work in English. You have to say that I will not.
The more troublesome the early life, the more lazy to learn, the more likely you will miss the people and things that make you tempted, and miss the new scenery. ”
Children, don't let the future self confess why you gave up so easily, don't let yourself fall back at midnight, and your heart is unwilling and regretful.
Don't regret when you grow up, no one forced you at first.
There is such a dialogue in the TV series "There are children in the family":
Liu Xing Ma: "When I was a child, I was told to report this class. I want you to learn. You don't learn it yourself!"
Liu Xing: "I don't want to learn, you don't want me to learn! At that time, I was still young, I still don't know anything. Don't you know anything? You should train me and educate me from an early age. I am studying..."
After Liu Xing finished, my mother suddenly stopped.
Recently, a violin performance by Henry was on fire on Weibo.
Under the spotlight, he is elegant and calm, and the sound of the piano is sometimes melodious, lingering, and sometimes flowing, flowing.
It’s amazing, it’s like hanging.
Once, Angelababy asked Liu Xianhua:
"Have you been forced to learn the violin by your parents when you were young?"
"Yes, being forced."
"Would you like when you were young?"
"I don't want to, until I was eleven or two years old, I never wanted to pull. Later I took part in the first game. From that time, I began to like it."
"Do you think you are thanking your parents now?"
"Thank you very much."
Actor Ni Ni also said with a sigh: "Yeah, I really appreciate them. If they don't force you, these things will never grow on you."
At this time, Angelababy, lost, said a word :
“Why didn’t anyone force me at first?”
This sentence, carrying a lot of unwillingness and regret!
It is not difficult to understand that children want to give up and want to give up. Over the years, rain and unimpeded, taking children to class every week, many parents will feel tired and annoyed, let alone go to class children?
However, if at this time, we easily let the children retreat, the child is likely to regret it in the future, why did he not insist on biting his teeth .
We will also blame ourselves, why didn't we force the children?
Children, people have a hobby in their lives.
Let your child learn and have a hobby that is always with him. It is the best gift for children.
This first gift is to give children more life.
When Liu Ruoying was 7 years old, she asked her grandmother: "Why should I study piano?"
If one day your husband doesn't want you, you can still have a skill, you can raise yourself and raise a child.
At that time, she didn't understand the meaning of her grandmother. When she grew up, she realized that her grandmother insisted that she should learn the piano. She only had to let her grow up and have a door skill. She didn't have to be forced to make a living and did what she wanted to do. The life of life, more choices of life.
This second gift is to help children discover their strengths.
Naturally called talent, but no child is born with special strengths, such as Mozart, he has a musical talent since childhood, but his piano specialties are also cultivated by his parents, he is not born to play the piano.
The strength of the child depends on the cultivation of the day after tomorrow.
What we have to do is to help the children, in the constant exploration, to explore their own specialties, and to constantly enlarge and enlarge the shining points on their own bodies.
This third gift is to give children more precious spiritual qualities.
Hu Ke once uploaded a video of his son crying while practicing the piano, which attracted everyone to applaud. In the video, Xiao Anji blinked and wiped his eyes, and his hands did not forget the small appearance of playing the piano. It was really touching and distressed.
The small body contains a lot of energy.
As Hu Ke said:
We don't need to be obsessed with perfect results, but we must have the quality of persistence.
Because of this quality, we can practice the skills of a five-six-six-six-six team, that is:
Do things with perseverance, do not give up, have patience, have perseverance!
It’s not that easy, but it’s not that hard.
Make good arrangements with your child from the beginning to involve your child in decision making.
This is the primary magic weapon to help children persevere.
When the child was 5 years old, I reported him various classes of interest: calligraphy, fencing, taekwondo, piano, etc., and then let him choose one or two of his favorite ones from these and insist on learning.
After a month, he made a decision and chose calligraphy and piano.
Now, he has been insisting for 3 years, during which he also told me: "Mom, I don't want to learn piano again, it's boring."
I kneel down and look at his eyes and say:
Child, have you forgotten the agreement we made at the beginning? You don't want to be a good person? You are climbing the mountain now, stick to it, you can climb to the top and see the scenery that no one else can see!
Second, it is to be good companionship and encouragement .
Parents are always role models for children.
When the child is practicing calligraphy, I am with him, practicing writing, and also stipulate at least 1000 words per day.
Sometimes I also want to be lazy. Whenever this time, the child will come over and persuade me: "Mom, you can't go halfway!"
Finally, the most important thing is to have patience.
We train our children not to make him an expert, but to give him a chance to live better.
If we always complain: "There are no white noises thrown in and there is no sound! I will take you to practice the piano every week. Is it easy for me? You still don't want to come, you have no conscience?"
What do children think?
"Then don't spend this money, stop at home, I don't have to be so tired. If you have this time, I might as well watch a cartoon!"
Parents have no patience, how can they blame children for not insisting?
Persevere in surprise, hidden in your future
A study in the United States found that it is not IQ, but persistence, that determines the future of children.
With regard to this ability, Luo Zhenyu has a very classic saying in "Logical Thinking":
Children love pets because they give instant feedback.
Like a puppy, as soon as you tease it, it will immediately wag your tail.
Humanity is like instant feedback, and children love to play games for this reason.
But if the child is going to do something in the future, he must have the ability to delay satisfaction.
It can be tolerated, and if you can't see the concrete results right away, you can work hard and stick to action.
When it’s okay, let the children plant flowers and grass together, water the water today, water the water tomorrow, and there is no change on the surface.
However, one day, the child found that all his efforts were not in vain.
At the moment when the flowers bloom, the child will understand that efforts to see the results immediately can actually bring even greater surprises.