It’s hard to be hard, but also take the children with you.Time:2019-08-07 | Release:Inspirational | Category:family Education
Mai Mai is my colleague and one of the most important people I know about my mother.
She and her husband are both foreigners, and both parents and in-laws stay in the countryside to farm.
After graduating from Mai Mai, he was admitted to the civil servant, and the husband was a soldier. He was assigned to be a soldier in the northwest and rarely came back.
After having a child, Mai Mai made up his mind to "make another hardship and take his own children" and rejected the proposal of parents and in-laws to bring their children back to their hometown.
Mai Mai found a relative who had a point of contact with her family and helped her with her children during the day.
After work, Mai Mai rushed home, read to his son, play with his son, bathe his son, sleep with his son, all personally.
In order to be able to be a little better to her son, Mai Mai said that she "just treats relatives as mothers."
She was given a salary every month, often asking for help, and occasionally sending her a small favor, and also agreed to many unreasonable demands of relatives.
For example, the relative's husband has to live in the Mai Mai family for a period of time each year by name of husband and wife.
Hope that the stars hope that the moon will be a little older, Mai Mai quit his relatives and sent the children to the Toban.
Bigger, the child went to kindergarten, and Mai Mai invited an hourly worker to help pick up the child.
In order to spend more time with the children, Mai Mai gave up the opportunity to adjust to the department with greater promotion potential, and gave up a lot of self time.
In the past few years, she rarely went shopping, rarely had a meal, and even the TV series had not chased one.
Although very hard, Mai Mai said that everything is worth it:
Bring your own baby, your parents and children have good feelings, and there are fewer contradictions in your mother-in-law. It is easier for children to educate.
Indeed, Mai Mai’s son is polite, confident , and versatile.
When the wheat is sick, the son will give her medicine and give her a massage. It is a little warm man.
I am very envious when I see Mai Mai sharing in my circle of friends and my son's life.
The child's childhood is very crucial, parents pay a bitter and tired, and the harvest is double the warmth and achievements.
At this point, speculation, the disadvantages may not appear in the present.
But it is likely to jump out at some point in the future and bite you like a boomerang flying from behind the head.
My girlfriend Lili is facing such a dilemma.
Lili has no breast milk, so when the child is born, the mother-in-law takes the child back to her hometown.
The hard work of breastfeeding at night, the anxiety of the child's illness, and the various hardships on the road to childcare, Lili are all omitted.
The people around me are envious of Lili's good fortune. Lili is also happy and happy. She chats with her children every day. Every year, her mother-in-law takes her children back to live with her children.
When the child went to elementary school, Lili took the child back and felt that the child was sensible and it was not difficult to bring it up.
But after the child got it, Lili was completely stupid:
The child and her are not close, often slamming her, saying that the child does not listen, and when he says that he is heavy, he is clamoring to find his grandmother.
The child has developed his own habits, and is completely different from Lili. He said that he did not listen, and he could not change it;
Life can't be managed, and learning Lili is no trick.
As soon as the child was in the first grade, it became a veritable little "school".
Tossing the child to the elderly, although the parents have been relaxed for a few years, they have left the snowball to the future.
What made her even worse was that she wanted to let her mother-in-law take the child away because she imagined she would have a lot of time to do what she wanted to do.
For example, to read more and enrich yourself, to make some sideline business and earn more money, perhaps even in a certain field, continue to become a big coffee...
However, after so many years, she said to me several times:
I thought that I couldn’t bring myself into the air, but over the years, I didn’t do anything meaningful. At most, I did a few more times. I went shopping a few times and saw a few more dramas...
Now that the child has become like this, and he has not done anything, it is worthless to think about it.
However, even if her goals are realized, is it even more worthwhile?
We just underestimated the value of raising children by hand.
Psychological research shows that:
Children 1-3 years old is a crucial period for establishing love, intimacy and safety with their parents. Mother's breastfeeding, hugging, touching and kissing are irreplaceable.
From the moment the child cuts off the umbilical cord, the child's psychological state is extremely fearful because he left the familiar environment.
The mother's careful and sensitive care for the child, hugs and touches all the time, can make the child feel the familiar environment and heartbeat, let the child feel love and peace of mind.
Children 4-10 years old are the key period for parents to establish authority, credit and attachment in the minds of their children. Attachment comes from companionship and is hidden in every moment you and your child spend together.
With the children to study together, swim together, draw together, travel together, the child's intimacy, attachment, and trust are unconsciously established.
In the first few years of the child's life , the children who are normally loved and accompanied by their parents are mostly safer and have a healthier mind.
Children who have been carefully nurtured by their parents from a young age are often more likely to establish close relationships with their parents and to more smoothly accept the education of their parents.
If the child is not close to the parents, the parent-child relationship is not good, the child is obedient, and the heart is working in the opposite direction. Even the best education is half the battle.
A writer once said:
Parents have an expiration date, and they should be educated and supported in the ten years that the child is most dependent on.
Once the child has reached adolescence, the parents will not be able to provide substantial impact.
There are reopening days for flowers, and there are no more people.
I missed the flowering period of my child's childhood, and how to water the flowers is also a loss.
Raising children by hand is not only the needs of children, but also the needs of parents themselves.
I used to be forced to raise my child in my grandmother's house.
I don't know when she was carrying the entire poem , and she didn't know when she had known so many words.
I didn't see the look of her painful and rejoicing when her first deciduous tooth fell, and she didn't have the chance to hear the wonderful bedtime stories she wrote...
I missed a lot of insight into the growth of this cute little life.
It is a pity that the child is like a TV drama that cannot be replayed. Each episode has a new plot. If you miss it, you will miss it forever, leaving me with a lifetime regret.
As the writer Chi Li said:
This is the benefit and happiness of bringing your child, not the key first step in missing the child;
Every step is a surprise, every step is the first sharer, and each step is my own precious wealth;
In the next few years, when a child grows up and leaves you, how much can a person eat and how much he wears when you enter the age of sorrow?
Only the family experience and memory of blood thicker than water, for a lifetime, is inexhaustible.
So, parents need to be convinced:
In the child's life, the order of appearance of the adult is very important.
Money can be earned slowly, but the child’s growth will not come.
The warm memories of those who raise their children will become the light of our lives.
And those who raise children by hand will also allow us to meet better children and meet better ones in experience, reflection and constant revision.
It is your child to bring a big child.
It may be difficult, but everything is worth it.