If nothing else happens, your child will be ordinary.Time:2019-08-07 | Release:Inspirational | Category:family Education
The children will eventually be ordinary, the reality that parents must face.
When a child is very young, it is easy to be asked a question: "What do you want to do when you grow up?"
Japanese children often answer when they face this problem. When they grow up, they want to be tram drivers, bakers, cleaners...
But such an answer will be ruthlessly mocked in China. If a child dares to say that he has grown up, his dream is to be a chef, and even his aunt will feel that his face is lost.
In China, parents have taught children the standard answer early on. When they grow up, they can only be scientists, writers, and astronauts. Only in this way, children will be considered to have a good future, and parents will have a face. More importantly, this is in line with the ardent hope of parents to "seek the child into a dragon."
The fact that Chinese parents are the most difficult to accept and most unwilling to admit is that their children will be a very ordinary and extremely ordinary person with a high probability. Even if you are faintly aware of this from your heart, you must rule out all the difficulties and create conditions to train your children into geniuses.
Therefore, "Wang Zi Cheng Long, Wang Nu Cheng Feng" has become the grand goal that many Chinese parents have set for themselves, and it is also the great responsibility they have given themselves.
Of course, this is understandable, and there is nothing wrong with it. Therefore, we do not have to explore what is the reason for this, and we do not have to argue whether this is right or wrong.
We only show the fact that 99% of 99% of people may spend their lives mundanely.
Probably speaking, how to find happiness, happiness and calm in an ordinary life and work is the most important ability.
And when our parents educate their children, they tend to ignore the 99% of the part, but concentrate on the remaining 1% of the extremely embarrassing hope. This means that from the beginning it was a gamble that was doomed to fail, and it was the beginning of many people's tragedies.
In fact, Chinese children, like Japanese children, grew up to do ordinary and ordinary jobs such as tram drivers, bakers, and cleaners.
The difference is that the Japanese can work hard in their jobs. According to statistics, Japanese people can often work in a position for more than five years, and even many people do a job in their lifetime. The Chinese are always complaining and frequently quit.
Faced with similar job content, salary income, and life pressure, Japanese people are often less anxious than the Chinese, complaining again and again. The reason is that the Chinese were educated from an early age to be an unwilling person. Both in terms of mentality and ability, they have lost the ability to draw happiness and happiness from ordinary life.
Therefore, many of us are not happy.
Admit that your child is very ordinary and a chance to reconcile with yourself
A mother, like all mothers, was determined to make her children stand out from an early age.
Son still in the primary stage, she carrot and stick him back over "primary Bibei poetry word" full set, also stipulates that the US text to be read a famous masterpieces every day.
Later, she found that her child had little interest in reading and switched to listening. Because she couldn't buy the right tape, she went into battle personally and recorded more than ten tapes for each child in each semester. So persisted for several years.
However, when the child is in junior high school, each test can't score in the modern text.
The mother does not understand, does not accept, angry, hate, and finally despair. Every day, I have to give myself hints and emphasize that eight hundred times that is my own son, I can barely restrain myself from being disabled.
After painstaking thoughts, the mother finally shared: "In the end, I realized that in this respect, he is a child who has no talent, no light, and I am not crazy."
It is a very lucky thing to realize that your child is not a genius. This will not only enable parents to correctly recognize children, accept children, reconcile themselves with children, and reconcile with children. It also allows children to have a correct understanding of themselves.
If you know that your child is an ordinary and ordinary person, you must find ways to sharpen your head and cultivate it into an elite. The result will not only make you desperate in the huge gap between return and pay, but also create an illusion for the child, making the child mistakenly think that he is a great person, holding a lot of unrealistic fantasies.
As a result, the eyes were low and I thought I was not able to meet my talents. I always feel that I am a Maxima, but I still have no Bole.
Can't correctly recognize your own ordinary, how can you be happy and happy in ordinary life?
Realizing that the child is ordinary, you can know him correctly and truly understand him.
There is a pair of parents who are elites. The father is a science genius, and he is well versed in mathematics and physics; his mother was a liberal arts tyrant, and he was full of poetry and books.
They are full of confidence in their children, father is responsible for science, mother is responsible for liberal arts, and firmly believes that they can be cultivated into a top-notch student.
However, unfortunately, their son just inherited the father's liberal arts gene, the mother's science ability.
One night, a simple math problem father repeatedly said several times, the child still looked ignorant. The father finally couldn't restrain his inner anger, slap the table, and fell into the book. "Stupid, idiot" smashed a lot. The child cried in the middle of the night.
The mother distressed her son. The next day I decided to accompany my child to school and sit in the classroom. In a math class, even if the concentration is concentrated, the mother just barely understands it.
In the evening, go home from school. The mother decided to tutor her child's mathematics and let her father tutor the language.
In the face of a simple math problem, the mother is also thinking before thinking, can not pay attention to; the original language problem, the father is also scratching his head, unclear. It was said that it was counseling, and the result became a discussion with the child.
It is the way to understand the child's parents slowly stupid, for his study in frustration and pain to be a full understanding and sympathy.
More importantly, they realized that their children are very ordinary people and there is no extraordinary talent.
Parents have a little more understanding of the child and have accepted him a bit more.
Since then, not only has the relationship with the children been greatly improved, but the children's achievements have improved unconsciously.
More importantly, under the influence of parents, the children have a more objective understanding and accurate positioning of themselves, and have become happy and calm.
Push others and accept the children's ordinary
It is unfair to say that parents use their own advantages to measure and demand children. It will put extra pressure on children and will have a counterproductive effect on children's education. What is even more frightening is that many Chinese parents are obviously not good at themselves, and they have to ask their children to be good enough.
Wu Nianzhen, a famous Taiwanese writer, once told about such a thing. His son’s math scores are very bad. The teacher wrote in the parent’s contact book: “The mathematics scores should be strengthened!”
When the son returned home, his mother’s face was a skunk.
Wu Nianzhen quickly pulled his wife to the kitchen and asked: "When you were studying, is mathematics good?"
The wife replied: "It's bad!"
Wu Nianzhen said: "I am also very bad! I only scored 10 points in the university entrance exam."
Then Wu Nianzhen and his wife talked about this issue very seriously: we can't do things that we can't do for ourselves.
Parents, looking back at the path they have traveled, many times they may not be hard enough, but they are really not good at it. Why bother to make trouble for the children?
From another point of view, if parents have never done a millionaire and multi-millionaires, why bother to have children, and reluctantly train them to be the best in the world?
Blindly let the children pursue extraordinary things, but will promote the children's ordinary
I have a friend who did a North drift after graduating from college.
After many setbacks, I finally got the children to get the indicators of studying in Beijing.
A friend is a person who pursues perfection. He simply operates in a square and sends the child to a prestigious school.
There are more than 800 students in the whole school, and the children are always around 600. Naturally, my friends are not reconciled. After working overtime, they will make up for the children. As a result, the children’s scores have dropped to the bottom 50, and finally they have a serious feeling of being tired of learning.
After painstaking thoughts, my friends began to realize that the child could not keep up with the rhythm of the famous school and had to transfer the child to an ordinary high school near the home.
Although the child's score did not improve, but the state improved a lot, began to become confident , cheerful, and interested in learning. In the end, during the college entrance examination, it was also played very often, creating a small surprise.
Chinese parents always like to have a lot of unrealistic expectations, and they will give their children everything they think is good. As everyone knows, just like raising the body, regardless of the source, blindly blindly, it is always counterproductive.
Parents blindly develop their children into elites, and the child's incompetent position will increase the child's extra pressure, increase the frustration, and let the children give up. When the contrast between reality and hope is too great, parents themselves will easily fall into despair.
In this way, the child is tragedy.
All the extraordinary things are derived from the ability to live an ordinary life.
Li Na, the tennis queen who has been proud of China for generations, has a halo on her head that illuminates the dark hearts of countless desperate people.
She talked about her daily life in an interview: endless practice. I have to smash dozens of balls a day. The same action, repeated practice, day and night, endless.
This kind of life is not just ordinary, it is simply boring.
Not just Li Na, almost all Olympic champions have had the same experience.
Not only the Olympic champion, almost all ordinary people, 99% of the time in life is experiencing ordinary and boring suffering.
On the Internet, there was a day-long schedule for Mr. Wang Jianlin, the richest man in China. From morning till night, it was just a meal, a meeting, a contract, and a journey on the road. From the point of view of the work itself, it is also ordinary and boring, and there is not much passion and interest.
In fact, all the achievements that have amazed everyone are almost created in the ordinary. A Nobel Prize-winning scientist must be an endless and boring experiment on weekdays. It is a difficult and boring academic collection.
Uncommon, it is achieved in the ordinary.
In fact, the reason why they are extraordinary is precisely because they have the ability to spend ordinary days. In other words, if you don't know how to stick to it in ordinary days, you won't achieve extraordinary achievements. Parents who want to free their children from the ranks of mortals have artificially ignored this ability from the very beginning.
Of course, we do not deny that some parents have received special attention from God, and their children are really a genius.
If you really win the prize, you can't waste it. But be sure to understand the other truth first. This is a small probability event, basically the same as the head of the pie that was lost in the sky.
Therefore, when preparing to train your child into an elite, you must carefully check to see if he really has some kind of talent. At the same time, he must also look in the mirror. If he is a mediocre person, don’t ask the child too. Taller.
Ultimately, surely, and affirmation that the child is indeed a genius, can not neglect the ability to cultivate his extraordinary days, otherwise, even genius, will become a mediocre. After all, no matter who's day, most of the time is ordinary.
Because of the ordinary, there is hope for extraordinary
One person is ordinary, that is of course; one person is extraordinary, it is accidental; the days of all people are ordinary, it is inevitable.
Therefore, if you lack the ability to draw happiness in the ordinary, you will naturally be unhappy. Instead, it will be more ordinary, and even become mediocrity. This is a vicious circle.
On the contrary, if you can learn how to live a happy life, you can first ensure that we become a happy and happy person. If you don't pay attention, you may have unexpected surprises, and you will achieve extraordinary things in the ordinary.
As a parent, if you really have the hope of making a child into an extraordinary person, or at least hope that he can live happily and happily, then don’t let it go, or return to the source, first teach the child how to be ordinary. Get happiness.