There is a high emotional intelligence, called ＂I don't blamTime:2019-09-11 | Release:Inspirational | Category:Serving people
There is a high emotional intelligence, called "I don't blame if you are in trouble."
Recently, my friend and I showed off one thing: "What happens to my daughter will be shared with my mother."
The 12-year-old girl is in a rebellious period of youth, but she has become a friend of confidante with her mother. She does not lie about the price of shopping. She goes to the Internet cafe to play games and dares to go home. She and the classmates skip classes to "explore".
It is also because the daughter dares to say that friends have the opportunity to communicate with her patiently after understanding the truth.
Friends do not arbitrarily blame, and the daughter will not rebel against it. On the contrary, the daughter trusts her mother and can change her mind.
I am surprised: "How did you get the trust of your child?"
She smugly replied: "It's very simple, and you don't blame it."
My friend also told me a long time ago.
At that time, the husband was unemployed for a long time. She is a housewife, she has no income, and she spends two cents in two flowers. She is always worried about eating the northwest wind.
During the day, the husband and wife are not pleasing to each other, and they quarrel when they are still moving, spreading the gas on each other. When the night is quiet, the couple sit and sigh, and they sigh, and no one can look down.
Once, the eight-year-old daughter whispered in her ear and asked: "Mom, I accidentally lost five dollars. Do you have a chance to get it back?"
The friend thought that the daughter had stolen the money, and did not fight for one place. All the grievances were all on the child, and the hangers were hit.
On the daughter's lap, she left a horrible scar.
She had lost money, she was very sad, and with her mother’s blame, she cried for an afternoon.
Later, I learned that the five dollars were exchanged by the daughter for collecting plastic bottles. My daughter looked at her mother's recent bad mood. She wanted to buy a small gift to make her happy. Unexpectedly, the money was lost.
The friend who knows the truth regrets it, and she secretly made up her mind that no matter what the daughter did wrong in the future, she would no longer blame her for nothing.
Life is not easy, but the child is innocent after all. You are free to blame and leave them with the shadow that you can't get out of your life.
Instead of criticizing the child, it is better to gain the child's trust and help her establish the correct values in her words and deeds.
" Confucius family language" in such a story:
Confucius and his disciples traveled around the country and were besieged between Chen and Cai. They were hungry and disappointed.
Once, Zigong sneaked out and bought some rice back. Yan Hui was responsible for cooking.
Everyone was very tired, sleepy, and when the rice was full of fragrance, Zigong and Zilu went to the stove to see if they needed help, but they saw a knowledgeable, noble character and sneaked into their mouths. Stuffed a group of rice.
Zigong and Zilu couldn't believe the sight in front of them. They didn't disassemble them in person, and they sneaked back and told Confucius about the situation.
As a teacher, Confucius did not directly blame Yan Hui, but subtly said, "I dreamt of my ancestors not long ago, I believe they will bless us, so I will worship the ancestors with cooked rice."
The ancients were superstitious and worshipped their ancestors. If they used the food they had eaten, it would be disrespectful.
Yan Hui listened to Confucius immediately, and Confucius asked why.
Yan Hui said the truth. When he was cooking, he accidentally let a ash fall into it, soiled a small group of rice, and the dirty rice could not be eaten by teachers and classmates. It’s a pity that he fell, so he ate the group meal.
Confucius’s failure to blame, not only reflects his own capacity, but also solves misunderstandings.
The British writer Johnson once said in The Rambler: When people blame others, they always have no scruples, because accusations always contain some superior meaning.
People always think that they have carried out more profound explorations and more extensive research than others, and have perceived the shortcomings and stupidities that have escaped the public's ears, and used them to delight themselves.
You will never know how much damage your blame will bring to others.
"The road to the avenue is not to be blamed."
People who are truly high emotional intelligence know how to blame others when they are in trouble.