Lend me a light to illuminate
 
  Lend me a smile like a spring
 
  01
 
  Every time I share my experience, everyone always leaves a message saying that I can give them a lot of warm energy. I am not surprised by the truth and sincerity in my own words, because I am such a person; but I am just a very ordinary person, and there is no better life than everyone's work. Why do people think that I can warm them?
 
  At the beginning, I thought it might be because of the character. The sincerity and pragmatism conveyed by the words made everyone feel comfortable after seeing what I said. Every time they ask a personal growth puzzle, I can always share my practices, gains and feelings. Everyone sees that my current good state is really what I really strive for.
 
  When I think about it, I start to think. I have changed a lot in these years. So, are these changes available for readers to learn from? But if I just write chicken soup, it is too boring to say that if you work hard and you can finish the goal you want to achieve, who will not say it?
 
  The person who wants to know, what I want to know more is what kind of thinking mode and what kind of hard work method has made me achieve my goal. This is also a summary of my thoughts throughout the day, I hope that these personal experiences and experience can be helpful to everyone.
 
  02
 
  I graduated from a three-college college, undergraduate law, unsuccessful examination, passed the national examination in 10 years, and currently do financial work in government agencies; 10 years of understanding Mr. Charles, began to love in early 11 years, has been away from home, 13 years of marriage, He continued to be in a different place for three years and reunited at the end of 16th. He resigned in September this year and we continue to live in different places.
 
  These are the basic conditions of my eight years. Why do you say this first, because these facts have permeated my life in the past few years, and I just rushed out to complete self-growth and thought jumps in such a situation that many people are not optimistic.
 
  What are the difficulties in this, why do not say that many people are not optimistic?
 
  The answer is that my family lives in the urban area, and I am admitted to the county government unit under the jurisdiction of the city. The two cities are separated by more than 90 kilometers. The city bureau has not recruited personnel from lower-level units for many years, and it is difficult to move home. Because I am old. Dad is just a small subject. My family has no background and no financial strength. My parents also hope that I can earn them a face.
 
  The transfer to the hometown is far away, and it is hard to add to the city where the husband works. The long-distance relationship and the marriage in different places are a way that people around me are not optimistic and do not approve of choice. They don't want to see my jokes, but I absolutely think that it is extremely difficult for me to complete these things. Not only do I need money to manage, but I also need to give strength to people to cooperate and cooperate.
 
  But the result is that my dad didn't spend any money to find someone. I was admitted to the city bureau in September 2013. We didn't spend any money to find someone. I transferred to Mr.'s city work in August of the 16th. During the marriage, Mr. Loan bought a suite in B City where he worked. After I got married, I bought a suite in my hometown A City. This year we sold the house of A City and changed the big house in the B city where we live now. .
 
  The rise of civil servants is very narrow and the income is very limited. However, I really did my own efforts to complete the rotation of the position and the accumulation of the economy. How can I do this is the answer that my friends especially want to know, and it is also me. I think that I have the source of the power to warm others.
 
  03
 
  I have summed up the experience of these years can be roughly summarized in three words, namely acceptance, commitment, and action. Explain separately below.
 
  First, accept the fact that I can't change, and face the real life.
 
  When I first got a job, I knew that anyone who wants to go back to their hometown can't rely on it. This idea arises not only because the family does not give force, but also because I have developed an independent attitude and an idea of ​​not attaching to people from an early age.
 
  This stems from the fact that I have a big shadow. My dad often said when I was studying, I spent a lot of money on my tutoring but still not good! This complaint is really a grin, complaining, mixed with hate iron and steel and deep disappointment. After many years, I carefully recalled these situations, confirmed that his complaints were real emotions, and that I still have a lot of family responsibilities in my emotions, but I can't give him an accountable complaint.
 
  When I was young, I only cried when I heard these words. I felt wronged and felt lonely. Why do you feel lonely? Because the book says that parents also say that the most loved one in the world and the most selfless dedication to themselves is the parents.
 
  Then I wonder if the people who love me the most in the world are my parents, why can't they accept my bad? True love should be able to accept all of him! So my conclusion is that my parents, or my dad, don't love me wholeheartedly and sincerely. He only wants to love what he wants me to be. Others, he is repulsive and disgusted.
 
  In the same way, if I can't get the unselfish love of my parents in this world, then the love of other people, such as friends, classmates, and future partners, will not be counted.
 
  So I have such a consciousness from my teens: I can't rely on anyone, even my parents; I will be very lonely, so be strong .
 
  This idea made me quickly put aside the complaints about my environment, and I was not willing to swallow all the life. I told myself that I was so big, I could only take three books in a year of re-reading. After I took a year, I was admitted to a unit. I was so bad, but I didn’t try my exams. When I live, I have to continue to work hard to catch up with the gap.
 
  This is my first life attitude after I joined the work. I did not relax for a few days, and soon entered the state of preparation for the war, learning business, continuing to take the exam, learning accounting knowledge, and continuing to choose the exam.
 
  I don't have to choose. I can count on my family to help me move like a colleague who has been working for a few years. I can also like to marry a second-generation rich second generation like a female colleague of the same age. These are very normal options and are also family members. I think I should go.
 
  But I don't want to, because I don't believe anyone in my heart, including my parents. This sense of insecurity and distrust always surrounds me. Even if I can't do it today, I have to work hard to accumulate capital that I can do for tomorrow. This can be said to be reluctant.
 
  Second, bear the responsibility that I should bear, and do not complain to anyone other than me.
 
  Knowing that you can only rely on yourself, you have to take your teeth and take responsibility for it. This is really not a choice.
 
  I didn't know when the city would take the exam, but I don't know when the two people can reunite. The goal I set for myself is to learn more, to test a lawyer's card, and to study accounting and accounting certificates, so that even if there is no way to go. I can also resign and need these certification skills to support myself after I resign. The purpose of my research is not how eager to learn, it is really prepared for resignation.
 
  In the first three years, I worked in the hall of the county bureau. Almost all of them were full of time. When I was busy, I had to go to the toilet to drink my mouth. In that case, I slammed the book on my desk every day and took time to see a real problem. I took the test for three years, but I gave up. The gentleman said that it is a waste of time to have no talent in law. But in those years, he did not hit me badly; then he gave up the law and started to study accounting. At the beginning, when I didn't finish the exam, I went back to my hometown. I felt too much to learn.
 
  It’s not easy to learn this. It’s not easy to do it. After work, people should remind themselves to keep reading and studying. Leisure time is busy with people. I am busy reading books. People are in love and talk about our business. People don’t have to pay for the house. Hard to beat yourself.
 
  However, I didn't feel bitter in those years. I felt that I was so excited that there was a sense of excitement that could finally control my own destiny. I have been brainwashing myself and saying that it is not time to achieve results, but I have to prepare for an opportunity in the future. This is what I have chosen to comfort myself.
 
  Although chicken soup, it is essential. I often tell myself that the road is chosen by myself. My boyfriend chooses it myself. If the outcome is miserable, I can’t blame anyone. I choose to bear it myself.
 
  I don't know if the opportunity is really reserved for the people who are ready, or I am really lucky. After three years of smooth transition, the leaders of the city bureau changed. I really took the exam. I returned to my hometown in the middle. My dad’s excitement and satisfaction in the past was more than the number of civil servants I had just admitted to, because I was earning my face with my true ability.
 
  Third, act to make changes, polish your temper and ability.
 
  I just got into the job and my face was very thin. I felt that I was making a mistake when I was a director. I thought it was a boy who said that I chose a boyfriend.
 
  The law is not well learned, the basic computer operation will not, the person will only laugh and nod, and can not share responsibility with others, but also special glass heart, the environment around us is closed, anyway, I only feel that I am lucky enough to get rid of the residue. Civil servants. This is my mentality eight years ago.
 
  Breaking the jar and breaking it, anyway, it’s like this.
 
  At work, others let dry up, and they were almost pitted by colleagues with ideas. Fortunately, they asked their old colleagues a few words and made no mistakes; they slowly followed a lot of good-hearted predecessors and masters and learned business. I also learned to treat people and deal with relationships.
 
  I have to read more questions and spend more time on my studies. I can also pass the qualifications and junior level. I have a few more exams. My dad knows how to be happy too. I feel that I am practical and patient.
 
  Emotionally stupid is good to him, especially honest, slowly showing the defects of personality and slowly changing the change, he is tolerant of me and I am tolerant of him; two people work together to improve, grow, save money, buy a house.
 
  There are contradictions, entanglements, fears in life, guilty to death, tossing to toss or to choose a way to make yourself feel comfortable; Dad just started to feel sad, time to see me very happy and slowly relieved.
 
  In life, we have to follow our own temperament. How to be happy and how to do it. We can’t do anything that is out of the ordinary, but it is different in small things.
 
  This problem seems to be very simple, but it is very important, because everything is in a comfortable way, your mood will be good, your attitude will be good to your neighbors, and then the environment and atmosphere will be different.
 
  I learned from the entanglement of wanting to listen to the opinions of parents or others, and slowly transitioned to the freedom to choose a comfortable way of doing things. The biggest advantage of this change is to bring complete freedom of the mind, and the whole person is relaxed.
 
  The reason why I was uncomfortable was because there were several options, and there were several options to indicate that I was weighing the trade-off. But everything can't be perfect. Just like wearing this dress today, you can't wear that one. Just like you want to be happy, you don't necessarily satisfy your parents.
 
  Since it is always a trade-off, why should you abandon your feelings? My instinct guides me to slowly strengthen my self-selection. This gradually firm process makes me clearly understand how important it is to respect my heart!
 
  Only if I really want it, I will go all out. Only by pursuing it all can I succeed . Only after success, I can get recognition from my parents and let them be satisfied and assured.
 
  So the advice I always give to others is to act and do it according to your own heart. Your instinct knows what you want and where you want to go. Although this instinct also needs to be constantly adjusted and changed in various situations, the autonomous change must be much smoother and more effective than others.
 
  04
 
  I was particularly emotional when I went back to see those days, because I personally experienced the process from low to high from inferiority to self-confidence , and because I never knew what to do to have a clear goal, from the often sad to the peaceful. When you are calm, you will know the taste and understand the repetition of the process and the long road.
 
  The sunshine, warmth, and positive energy that I can give to everyone is the light that is truly gained from life, and I can use these feelings and experiences to verify every book I read now, knowing that all the words in the book are Really.
 
  I am an ordinary person. I don't have a high career and resume, but I believe that there are many ordinary people like me. Everyone is struggling to live alone in their own lives.
 
  They only need one look, one believe, one smile, just like I needed to be like everyone else. They need to know my past and present, not to learn from me, but to know that all of their persistences are useful, because I saw the path words that I wrote down that are not particularly clear, knowing that we are all the way.
 
  I didn't think about emitting light, warming others, just being yourself.
 
  So I want to tell my friends responsibly, as long as you are sincere, hard, and persistent, you can really achieve your goals. Even if this road is far away, the result is not satisfactory, but the process is harvesting. It is more important to go down than to go to the destination. Because you can go on, you can meet more beautiful and complete ones.
 
  When you find yourself, the comfortable self, your world will be different. Just as I am now with you, you are the harvest of my search for self.