Keep the ability to refuse others at any time
 
  01
 
  The swallow is a very motivated girl, learning on the way to work, running, and even going to the toilet .
 
  When she saw the recommendation of the new book, she felt that she should buy it. When she saw the recommendation of the good class, she felt that she should learn the school. As a result, the swallow fell into the strange circle of buying, buying, and learning. The more I bought it, the more I wanted to buy it.
 
  Sometimes she will fall into the entanglement of which course to choose, and she will be struggling in the face of limited time offers and fixed money quotas.
 
  She began to worry, even if she had been learning for 24 hours, the things she wanted to learn were also invisible.
 
  The limited time and energy and the explosive information of infinite information seem to be contradictions that can never be reconciled.
 
  Even if there is more money, there will be more and more courses to be bought, and the ability and level of learning will be limited, not to mention her money is very tight.
 
  To this end, many people who are pursuing new knowledge and unwilling to lag behind are bitterly eager to learn in anxieties, frowning and mad at the beginning of their studies.
 
  The swallows learn very late every night, the dark circles are very heavy, the acne on the forehead always comes out one by one, and every time I wash my hair, I see a lot of hair falling down.
 
  Her sleep quality is getting lower and lower, and the state of the whole person is getting worse.
 
  She wants to stop, but I know that I was going to relax for a long time, but I am still tired of studying and I am more anxious than doing anything.
 
  The knowledge that I think is useful is to learn. The result of this kind of thinking is that the desire to buy and buy is getting more and more intense, the anxiety of learning is becoming more and more raging, and the sense of fatigue will continue to rise.
 
  Finally, the swallow faced a course that he really wanted to sign up. He refused it decisively. In the face of a good book recommendation that he really wanted to buy, he also decisively refused. In the face of a team that wants to participate, he will read 4 books and decisively refuse. It is.
 
  She feels relaxed and comfortable as never before, and her learning goals are getting stronger and stronger, and her concentration is getting higher and higher.
 
  The improvement of all the circumstances turned out to be from the refusal, refused to be redundant, refused to be busy, and refused to drive.
 
  Don't forget that at any time and under any circumstances, when we are dissatisfied with the status quo, we all have the right to say no, have the right to refuse, and have the right to refuse to experience the power of freedom.
 
  A person who neglects his own refusal of rights will inevitably become a jealousy of his own desires or expectations of others. He is constantly busy, but he has violated his original intention.
 
  02
 
  Those who can play the right to refuse at any time, he must know what he wants and what he wants.
 
  This is the case with Sister Su. She is exquisitely dressed and elegantly dressed, and her face is always humble and well-prepared.
 
  She loved to dance and paint since she was a child. My parents thought that learning is the most important thing, let her give up dancing and painting, and concentrate on reading.
 
  Sister Su promised her parents not to influence the study and to stick to her hobbies .
 
  My parents want her to go to a big company to find a stable job to go to work. Su Jie told her parents about her strengths and preferences, and chose to be a dance instructor and illustrator.
 
  Speaking of buying clothes, Su Sister concentrated on her time during the season, carefully selected five or six sets of clothes, and then matched the classic style of clothes in the closet, enough for her to have a beautiful season.
 
  Her wardrobe is very neat and tidy, rejecting any outdated, unsuitable clothes, and she never wanders when she wears clothes.
 
  When other people often brush the webpage or go shopping from time to time to pick clothes, catch up with the carnival, pick up their clothes, Su Sister calmly and do their own thing.
 
  Reading, Su Jie refused to read unnecessary books. She read only 2 carefully selected books according to her own situation. She would like to read the classic books that I like very much, and read them directly for books that are of little use.
 
  When it comes to professional issues or general knowledge, Su Jie can sort out the ins and outs of things and the causes and effects, which are all thanks to the results of her systematic learning and practical training.
 
  Su Jie refused all the boring gatherings and chats. She liked to get together with good friends. No one was fake, no one was playing, some were heart-to-heart talks and solid and reliable friendship.
 
  Some relatives and friends told Su that if they don't hurry, they will be old. When women are old, they will depreciate.
 
  However, Sister Su’s attitude in love is very clear. She wants to marry her to love and rejects many men in good eyes.
 
  Moreover, she has never felt a sense of devaluation. For love, she is not willing to do it. In her opinion, it is a grievance and suffering for a man who does not love him for a lifetime.
 
  She chose to be a single aristocrat, and every day was rich and colorful, and it was extremely full and interesting. Later, Su sister wished to marry her love.
 
  After the marriage, Su sister has always maintained a state of learning and self-growth, and has become the envy of many girls.
 
  Refused to be recognized by other people's value systems in order to live their own style;
 
  Respond to excess substances and things in order to concentrate on doing things;
 
  Reject some boring gatherings and chats before you have enough time to spend time with people who love and love yourself.
 
  The right to refuse is a clear attitude to life. It is also a clear choice of self. True freedom is not what you want to do, but you can refuse it without wanting to do anything.
 
  03
 
  In the book "The Transition: Technology to Be a Master", it is mentioned that the self-management system of high-performance people is a "high-efficiency energy tower", which is the resource layer, the methodology layer and the target layer from bottom to top.
 
  The resource layer refers to resources such as time, energy, money, and emotions invested by individuals;
 
  The methodology layer is a methodological guide for using resources and improving efficiency;
 
  The target layer means choosing what to do, what not to do, and the value judgment based on it.
 
  According to the level of “high-efficiency energy tower”, “diligence realm” is divided: low level of diligence depends on effort; medium level diligence depends on method; high level of diligence depends on choice.
 
  The upper level determines the lower level. What kind of goals determine the method you use, the method is different, and the way you work hard is different.
 
  Most people are overwhelmed by the resources: time is not enough, energy is overdraft, money is scarce, emotion is scarce, and they have been struggling and can't find a way out. This is the result of low-level efforts.
 
  There are also a large number of people constantly looking for a methodology to get rid of the problems encountered at the resource level, but a variety of method guides emerge in an endless stream, they will also get lost, and the original intention of improving efficiency sometimes exacerbates the excessive consumption of resources.
 
  Only those who stand tall and look far will think, do, and do nothing at the target level, and have their own clear value judgments.
 
  In order to leap from a low level to a high level, we need to make changes. As for how to change, this book quotes a forward-looking concept proposed by Paul Vazlavik: the first sequence change and the second sequence change.
 
  The first sequence change does not affect the change of the original mode, the change is the state; the second sequence change is the mode change, which changes the system.
 
  For example, when everyone is tangling the various function keys of the mobile phone, which one is reserved, which is the first sequence change, and Jobs wants to do what the multi-function key does, simply remove it and replace it with a touch screen;
 
  Some mobile phones have commercial pens, and Jobs does not use them. They are replaced with touch screens. This is the second sequence change.
 
  Struggling in the first sequence, you can only swim in the tangled, chaotic puzzles, and jump out of the puzzle is to reject redundancy and grasp the essence.
 
  Only those who grasp the essence and seize their core needs are the most comfortable people to live, use slowness to cope with too fast changes, and use minimalism to resist the shackles.
 
  They give full play to their rights, courageously reject things that are not their own, reject trivial things, and reject all thoughts and thoughts that interfere with free life.
 
  The right means subjective choice, the refusal means that the deletion is simple, and the right to refuse is naturally free and indecent.
 
  04
 
  Some people think that it is too difficult to say "I don't". I want to refuse but I can't say it.
 
  The difficulty in refusing others is that they are afraid of others saying that they are selfish and sloppy, and that they can't get through the face, and they are afraid that they will lose their friendship because they refused, and they also offended people.
 
  The difficulty in refusing to make up for love is that, after being afraid of refusal, it is a lonely individual. If you are afraid of missing it, you will never have a chance to come back again, fearing the pressure of marriage by relatives and friends.
 
  The difficulty in rejecting some knowledge is that you are afraid of missing important content, and you are afraid that you will not learn which book.
 
  The difficulty in refusing more and more desires is that the more you want to refuse, the stronger your desire seems to be. The things you can't get are more likely to provoke a strong possessive desire.
 
  Once others are responsive, love can make do with it, others learn what they are learning, and what they think will follow their own desires, then it will determine that you can only be physically and mentally exhausted, and it is difficult to extricate yourself from trivialities and anxiety.
 
  We all have the right to refuse something that does not belong to us. We have the right to refuse people, things, things that we don't like and are boring, and have the right to reject the state of life we ​​don't want.
 
  Since the right to refuse, then learn to say no, let yourself free from the hustle and bustle, free from the crowd, and free from the hustle and bustle of chores.
 
  To gain physical and mental freedom, from the beginning of refusal, it is time to hold the right to refuse in your own hands.
 
  Only by rejecting all the redundancy, can you leave enough time and energy, focus on doing less but better things, and accompany your loved ones to enjoy peace and tranquility.
 
  Freedom is the ultimate destination for everyone, and the right to refuse is the true freedom.