Not afraid to change, is to give yourself the best sense of security
 
  1
 
  A few days ago, a newly-married reader added me to WeChat and talked about the status quo. Years of long-distance love has finally been achieved in this year. In order to live together, she can only give up the familiar environment and work and go to the city where Mr. is located.
 
  She thought that this would give her a sense of security, but the reality quickly shattered her expectations. Unfamiliar city, different living habits, no job, no friends. When Mr. is busy with work, she often feels bored at home and wants to do something, but she is confused and does not know where to start.
 
  As I heard it, this is almost an inevitable result. Because what she is facing is a process of breaking up and reorganizing life from the outside, from the beginning, she may not be ready to adapt to these changes. I believe that many people will have similar confusion when they face forced change. Why are we so afraid of change?
 
  This is obviously related to the sense of security. The pursuit of security makes people unconsciously dependent on a stable environment, and changes will break these existing balances. Uncertainty about the future and concerns about failure are our fear of changing the ultimate.
 
  Regrettably, life is impossible to be static. The gathering of life, the test of the workplace , and the changes in the situation are all inevitable. How to face change is actually a compulsory problem for every adult.
 
  At the end of the day, I told her that if you really don't know what to do, start with the simplest thing. At the very least, this means that you are beginning to take the initiative to adapt to this change, rather than being resigned and helpless.
 
  Escape and dependence will never bring a real sense of security. Only face to face, good changes will happen.
 
  2
 
  I am deeply touched by this. When I graduated, I went to work in a business unit in order to seek the so-called sense of security. But when the steady demand is met, I am seriously doubtful about the prospects of this job. In those few years, I often worked overtime to write materials and my heart was inexplicably irritated. I felt that the road ahead was foggy.
 
  I am trapped in a constant environment, thinking that this is a good way to maintain a sense of security, but the heart is actually full of anxiety. I am still young, but I don't know what I can do and where I should go. Even for a while, I was caught in all kinds of complaints - complaining that the work content was too monotonous and boring, complaining that income and pay were not proportional to each other, complaining that there was no way to appreciate. However, the more you complain, the more painful you are, the more painful you will be.
 
  Until I decided to take the initiative. I went to the in-service postgraduate, applied for the new unit, and later renewed my hobby of writing, and used my work to study writing. Constantly changing, like unintentionally opening a new universe for me. There, though, I will experience various failures, but every achievement of a little bit will allow me to slowly find a sense of control and choice for life.
 
  I realized that the stability I had pursued was only self-limitation. When you are willing to jump out of the comfort zone and face the change, many fears have already been solved. Because you have the ability to use your own actions to answer questions about the unknown.
 
  Every brave change will add a real bargaining chip to our sense of security.
 
  3
 
  I have seen such a sentence : the only sense of security in life comes from the insecurities of fully experiencing life. Change is such an active choice and experience, placing yourself in various possibilities, like a clay figurine, constantly breaking and reshaping. Every time you update, you will inevitably be accompanied by pain, but you will also encounter a new and better self.
 
  A friend made up his mind to lose weight after divorce, and then used one year to train himself from 130 pounds into a single hot mom with a vest line. Not only that, because she is determined to be self-sufficient, she once only knows how to be a full-time wife, but also successfully launched her own handmade cake workshop, becoming a net red food shop owner.
 
  Today, she looks beautiful and confident . She often feels with me. I can still have so many surprises in my life. I can still have such great potential. “I was committed to the second half of my life, until I had to make a change and found that the best sense of security can only be given by myself.”
 
  Indeed, when we can't change the situation, the only thing we can change is the attitude towards it. If a person has the determination not to be afraid of change, no matter what age or environment, he will have the same chance to celebrate the growth, and he can walk out of his own wonderful new life.
 
  When you feel confused, you may wish to calm down and take a good look at the status quo and make a choice. Start with a small change and make yourself a little better in a step-by-step manner. You have to believe that you can meet with happiness without fear of change.