When my mother was young, she fry peanuts. She fry with hot oil, so the peanuts are not crispy. It is soft and collapsed. It is not good. When we were young, our brothers and sisters ate so much. They didn’t feel anything, they grew up. After eating outside, you will know that it is necessary to fry with cold oil. It is crispy and delicious.
  So I went home and told my mother, but my mother refused to use cold oil to fry and resolutely use hot oil.
  My brothers and sisters and my father asked my mother to change it. My mother is determined not to change.
  This swaying has been going on for decades. My mother still used hot oil to fry the softly-cold peanuts. I missed it so much. I have never seen the peanuts fried by her old people.
  However, in the past few decades, our family has been suffering too much. Our brothers and sisters want to change my mother. Of course, not only the simple things of frying peanuts, but also many things that people can't bear.
  My dad also wants to change my mother, but until I die, I haven’t done it a little. My brother’s nephew is still struggling to change my mother for a lifetime. Now, it’s absolutely impossible.
  Of course, my mother also wants to change my nephew, but, how can it be, you can't change it yourself, why is my nephew changed by my mother?
  Until, one of my nephews passed away, and she has not been changed.
  Fortunately, this nephew came to see me in the temple before his death. We reached a small consensus, don't change others, forget it.
  My nephew wants to change my brother, exhausted his life, and did not achieve the goal. They fight with a knife, but it is not a move.
  Even if it was cut to blood, no one was changed.
  As the youngest brother of my family, I witnessed a lot of sorrow and despair in their marriage , witnessing the deep hurts, the hatred of each other, and the resentment of each other.
  It’s hard to read a book, it’s shocking.
  My nephew, fifty, just passed away, and her family, my brother, the man who has harmed her for most of her life, sat alone for the night with her body.
  In fact, they are very loving. I have witnessed the efforts they made for love before marriage . However, when they lived, how did they become like this?
  This pair of friends, who has not changed who.
  And my other relatives, all of them used their time and energy to change each other and let the other person live according to their own standards. The ending is a double loss and a fiasco.
  Our family has spent the rest of their lives practicing and testing such a truth, changing oneself to be God and changing others to be neurotic.
  This was summed up by a very savvy believer. Once, he asked me some questions. I told him some truth about Dharma. He summed it up extremely genius. Oh, I understand, you mean, Changing yourself is a god, changing others is a neuropathy.
  It’s a genius in the folk.
  My brother and son want to change my nephews, because when I was young, they wanted to change me. If there is such a reason, how can I let them change.
  Until I left my hometown, they gave up changing my mind, but, occasionally making a call, I would still have a night, you should not do this, don't be like that, I will perfuse.
  I have not been changed. Of course, my nephews have not been changed. They have also learned to perfunctory. This is grown up, sensible, and it was rebellious before.
  I also thought about changing my nephews, and the results can be imagined.
  When my nephew died, I met my brother. Although I didn’t talk much, people lived on this part, and said 啥?
  However, our hearts tell each other, forget it, we can't change the world.
  What we can change is only ourselves.
  Really, whoever is not convinced, whoever comes.
  Our eyes, ears, and tongues are the world of perception. The so-called color and scent touch is a process that operates according to strict causal laws. The sense of industry is a bit like a projector that projects our life on the wall. We mistakenly think that There is a me, there is a world that I face.
  The image projected on the wall cannot be changed. The wall is broken and the image cannot be changed.
  We can only change the source file, and the image on the wall changes.
  Everyone can only rely on internal changes, relieve me, and even let go of my practice. It is like we change our own source files, the images can be changed, and the previous images can never be changed.
  Fortunately, those images are impermanent and illusory.
  However, the future of the illusion of life, do not change the source documents, will pass the more sad reminder, no suspense tragedy, pain is no limit, my father and mother have a painful life, my brother, sister and nephew It has also been a painful day.
  I have lived a painful life for most of my life. The hardest day is the day when I started a business and management. That is a dark day. Even if it is a close relative, it is impossible to change others.
  Until one day, I gave up the idea of ​​changing who, even a little bit of such an idea does not let it have a foothold.
  Only when the days began to feel better, only when I felt a little bit of happiness, I felt a little bit of happiness and dignity.
  In this world, we only need to change ourselves, love, compassion, and wisdom.
  However, how embarrassing are my relatives, colleagues, and colleagues who have turned against each other in the past, how can I compensate and repent for the harm and suffering that I bring to others?
  Now, I finally understand that my so-called management, the so-called group, the so-called concept, are actually disguised as my own.
  I want to control, want to possess, and want to change others, so it will form the oppression between people, the grace of the newspaper, the hypocrisy, the exchange of interests, moral coercion, and even all kinds of spiritual control.
  After I was a monk, the essence of life I learned was complete equality, the only way to do it, the inside and the outside, the roots are dust, and the mood is the same.
  Therefore, the spirit of discipline is compassion, equality and true freedom.
  It is really meaningful to go out to practice, and the gradual understanding of Dharma makes all the good things in life possible.
  Not changing others does not mean not doing good building, but knowing how to give others time and space, being compassionate to others, understanding others, respecting others, loving others, and not crushing others for any reason, without any reason To bully others.
  I can really realize that changing the others with the excuse of "I am doing this for you" is in fact a manifestation of selfishness and ignorance.
  Only when we use compassion and wisdom to arouse the motivation of our inner self-change, can we have the possibility of change and have the possibility of awakening.
  To change others is to oppress others, to manage others, to oppress others, where there is oppression, and where there is resistance.
  Some of the arguments in modern management are correct, but in practice, many of them are more and more bitter, more and more tragic, more and more mad, more and more nervous, and my family tragedy.
  It is not a theoretical problem, because the lack of a compassionate lover's heart is to control and use the human heart, so any good method will become toxic.
  After I became a monk, I realized that the Dharma world only had lover, no management, only the life of the people, and there was no loss of control and greed.
  Love others, everything has the possibility to straighten out, control others, all the harm has a chance, only change yourself, completely let go of the attempt to change others, let go of all sorts of reasonable and unreasonable standards, we can better If you look at yourself, you will have the opportunity to understand your lover and learn to love you. You can balance the various careers in the world and in the world.
  It is really worth pondering deeply, life, changing oneself is God, changing others is a neuropathy.