In 2005, there was a documentary called " High School ", which truly recorded the life of an ordinary high school graduating class in Fujian. I believe that everyone who has experienced the college entrance examination will feel a lot of emotions after reading it. After all, who is not coming from the white and miserable youth. Now that the college entrance examination is over again in the next year, I will read this commentary from the film again. I hope that we can all face the desperate self in the past.
 
  I lost half of my life on the road.
 
  Throughout the third year, there is an article cut from the "Youth Digest" on the back of my desk. I can't remember the title and specific content of the article. I only remember that it was about a girl who didn't have a good grade. In the story of Fudan, I remember that she wrote the phoenix flower in the school that she was eagerly awaiting.
 
  It was the winter of 2002. My world was dark and dark. I always cried in places where no one saw it. Later, because of lack of sleep, I couldn’t cry even crying.
 
  I was full of regrets throughout the summer, but I didn't tell anyone about my regrets.
 
  That was the summer of 2003. After the college entrance examination, I filled in my wishes. My class teacher has been asking me. Have you already thought about it? Do you really want to give up? I went to the Academic Affairs Office to get the recommendation form. The Dean of Education said, "Do you really just fill in this volunteer? You can be a little higher." My parents said, you decide for yourself.
 
  Have you ever lost half of your life for the college entrance exam?
 
  Later, I insisted on filling in the name of another university. I joked that the school has the most beautiful cherry blossoms in China. Later, with the transcripts and scores down, I saw that I had far surpassed the many Fudans I had dreamed of. I didn’t say anything and set off for another city.
 
  I never told anyone how much I was afraid at the time. I have only one idea in my head. If the volunteers fill in the wrong ones, I will return to the third year of this nightmare. If such an experience is to be repeated, I will live and not want to live.
 
  So, I really just regret, I never regret that I made that choice because, I am really, very scared.
 
  Looking at "High School", I saw the same time as myself, as if I saw the various faces sitting in the same classroom at that time. Since the third year of high school, we all have the same identity - the students of the graduating class, and our identity definition has become more and more clear: eugenics, middle school, poor students.
 
  I met a little girl on MSN two days ago. When I talked about the documentary, I talked about the third year. She said, "At the time, I was crying when I saw this film, but you should not feel so big because I watched it. I just finished the college entrance exam, but you are now graduating from college."
 
  I didn't tell her again how I felt so sad. You know that if you don't forget something, then when it all floats out of the sea, you can't stop.
 
  I still remember the best high school in our province. Everyone is undergoing special training in hell.
 
  The reference books I bought in that year were more than my entire height, and I added more questions in that year than I have added in the past ten years. I was there that year. The note that was said in the class is the most silent period of my life so far.
 
  I don’t know when I was inspired, I don’t know when I started to have a dream . In short, I started thinking about my life in such a long time. I want to go far away, that is, I want to go far away anyway, and the bookcase is full of myself. The small notes are all inspirational words.
 
  When the day is not bright, I wake up. Together, I have a careful mother. She will always get up half an hour earlier than me. I will wake up after breakfast, and then I will sleep on my way to school. Sleeping Time ranges from one o'clock to five o'clock in the morning. Sometimes when the questions are done crazy, they are planted in one. When they come out, they find that they have no way to sleep, or, when they are unconsciously. Already fell down at the table.
 
  Difficult, it is sleepy, in addition to the feeling of sleepy, I used to be a person who couldn’t stay in the night. After the third year of high school, I was not afraid of connectivity.
 
  I was not a very good student at that time, so I took a third test in the class when the college entrance examination, so that all the people fell below the glasses, my class teacher said, you really are the dark horse. But my dad said, you are very hard, really hard.
 
  At the beginning of the school, I was stalking and pleading with the class teacher. I sat down with the best boys in the class and began to drag different teachers to ask different questions every day after class. Every day. Q, I argue every day every day; the first thing I start to enter the classroom every day is to do the problem and do the problem again. After school in the afternoon, I will do the problem and do the problem again. After dark, I will go home to eat, after dinner. Then do the questions. A large number of papers, exercise books, and various reference books bought by myself have tasks every day, and they are full of words.
 
  At that time, I didn't feel tired when I was tired. I just thought about it. I had to finish the exam. After I finished the exam, I had to sleep for half a month. Then, I didn't write for a lifetime.
 
  Later, in the college entrance examination, my desk was inexplicably dropped. He was the one who was completely different from me. His volunteerism was a little higher. He stayed at a local university and his grades have been very good. Later, he was sent to Fudan to study, which is the most desirable for my Fudan.
 
  On the day he was on the list, I turned over the classmates and saw that he once wrote: For my Peking University, your Fudan, we have to fight for it.
 
  From that time on, I was a little aware that life was just beginning.
 
  At the beginning of the film, the class teacher said, please take half a life to the third year, no one will work too hard because of too much effort, so I don't want one of your life, as long as half.
 
  Almost all of them have taken half a life, not only students, but also teachers and parents. Everyone has set up a united front like the anti-enemy squad. Everyone is at risk.
 
  Whether it is us or society.
 
  Seeing the same life and slogan in the film, they are all the same, all from the fear of the heart. Someone was crying and struggling to go forward. Someone gave up and escaped. Some people didn’t know why.
 
  If the morbid state is society, then we have to become so morbid, but because we fear that we can't survive, we all want to survive and see the vast sky and the so-called dreams.
 
  I have a bit of a desire to keep track of what these students have become. After they graduated from college or university, they encountered something completely different from the original.
 
  What is the hard work of this year? Hundreds of years of happiness, when it comes to the most bitter time of life, it is all deliberately stated for their fighting spirit. In fact, no matter how the year of high school, it is still left. The life of dog blood has not yet begun.
 
  I used the time of the whole university to make up for the lost entertainment and leisure time in the third year of high school. After graduation, I drifted to another city, and then started a round of death, I always wanted to go to the mother. Education, who did not tell me that life is so inexplicably full of snobbery, no one has told me that fate is in his own hands, but there are so many unfairness.
 
  The half life that I had once smashed was lost without knowing it.
 
  I watched this film last night, and I couldn't write anything. I fell asleep and dreamed that I was desperately trying to do it.
 
  Then, today, Beijing has snowed.
 
  Looking at this cold and clear, I suddenly realized that since the third year of high school, I have never been desperate to do something, even if it is half life.
 
  Always thinking about taking shortcuts, often losing yourself in the face of others once and for all, being beaten by life every other time, always thinking about giving up when doing things. The sky is falling down and there are people who are tall and fall down and there are short people.
 
  I really thought that I had already gone so far, but I was far from coming out.
 
  My half-life lost on the road, I always think, what do I have to do to be able to stand up to myself five years ago?
 
  My dear high school children, don’t be blinded by illusions, life is watching you with no good intentions.