It is also a year of college entrance examination. I have re-read and experienced two college entrance examinations.
 
  one
 
  The first time I had a book, but the family had no experience at all, filled out a 211 school in other provinces, and reported that it only recruited a few people. As a result, the school’s score for that year was particularly high. And my dad insisted that if you can't get a famous university, then you will lose most of the meaning of going to college. I listen to him and reread the third year of high school .
 
  At that time, in our case, the re-reading class was not recognized by the system. We could only be in a small building opposite the original school. 200 people were crowded into a classroom with only 60 people. Doing the answering machine one day.
 
  I am the monitor of the re-education class that year. My familiarity with the test paper has exceeded my familiarity with myself. Everyone thinks that I will be the unquestionable success of the college entrance examination. But the result is that the results are not as good as the first year. Although you can still read one book, it is far from the famous schools that everyone expects.
 
  I cried for three days at home and didn't know how to face it. I have no impression of the crazy scenes of losing books and throwing papers. I am afraid to talk to any classmates. I don't want to talk to anyone about exams or school. I lost my helmet in the face of fate.
 
  My mom, I can't figure out why, why is this result. She went to the local incense temple to ask for divination. The monk in the temple told her that my exam failed because the family had a brother who died young, and the ghost was following me. She hurriedly asked me if I was dizzy when I was taking the test. Was it uncomfortable? I have to say that there is one point.
 
  The only and biggest impact of the college entrance examination on me is not that I did not get into the ideal school, but that it deeply defeated my confidence in the fate, and this feeling of inferiority has not recovered.
 
  But many years later, my friends were very surprised to say that there is no trace of frustration in you, and there is not much imprint of incompetence and self-confidence . How did you get out of it?
 
  I can honestly say that it is precisely because I am a loser of the college entrance examination.
 
  two
 
  I believe that there are two sides in everyone - both obedient and rebellious. There is a responsible side and a laissez-faire side. There is a compromise and a self.
 
  This failure, on the contrary, allowed me to completely abandon the route of learning to give up, to give up a child, and dare not take the usual path.
 
  First of all, the course of the university, except for what I really like, I just want to pass the exam. For the rest of the time, I was in the library, a small shop renting books outside the school, to borrow a variety of books to see, the psychology of the philosophy of history economy, and the free books that teachers and parents are not allowed to watch. (Envy the current students, you can buy all kinds of books online, and there are many discounts!)
 
  Then, I met a super-beautiful roommate. We both visited the major shopping malls in Wuhan. Poor students couldn’t afford a lot, but we dare to try. Her famous saying is: try and don’t want money, if you want to improve your taste, Just go shopping! Under her leadership, I also lost more than ten kilograms of fat that I accumulated over the years.
 
  But more importantly, I dare to be an unruly child! Since anyway is no longer a top student in my parents' mind, then I will choose to live according to my own ideas.
 
  Carrying parents and traveling with classmates.
 
  Refused the proposal of parents to test civil servants.
 
  On the blog, losing exam essay emphasized, re- learn how to write your own style of writing.
 
  Rejecting any work within the system, refusing to go to traditional media, and running to Shenzhen to become a hard-working office worker who is nine to five.
 
  If I had a successful college entrance examination, I went to a prestigious university. I claimed that I was a proud son. My parents still decided that their education route was correct. Then, I might be doing a safe job like many prostitutes. I dare not break through myself, dare not rebel, and dare not live the same as most people.
 
  This is the arrangement of fate.
 
  God closed a window for you, but opened another window for you. The ancients said that the evils depend on it.
 
  A good friend once told me that the only regret in her life was that she had never studied at university, so every time I met doctors, professors, and highly educated people, I felt very inferior and didn’t dare to talk more, even though she was a lot. The goddess is in the hearts of the people.
 
  I said to her: When you envy them with their knowledge, they actually envy your spiritual interest! Learning this is not only available in college. More importantly, in your twenties, how do you spend your life when you leave school?
 
  In my eyes, many college students, after entering the school gate, rarely touched the book. After graduation, it is even less. There are very few people who can graduate from the literary academy like me.
 
  There are too many people living in this world according to the trajectory. They go to school, graduate, work, get married, have children, and they start to think when they are exhausted and unable to break free:
 
  Where did it go wrong, and when did it start wrong?
 
  Only those who have left the track early are fortunate enough to think earlier:
 
  who am I? How should I live? What do I want in my future life?
 
  For me, the later life, all the trajectories, did not develop as my parents thought, but probably far beyond their development.
 
  叁
 
  It is very strange that after the ego, the girls of our family did not seem to have a test. The cousin college entrance examination is more than 600 points. It is also the first year of the first year. The admission score is too high. Because of my previous experience, she reported a second book and later tried her best to study in the United States.
 
  Later, another sister was like this. After passing a line, I read two books. At that time, she asked me, I said to her: It is good to choose a favorite school and major. What university to study will affect your employment in the next few years, but it will not really determine your life.
 
  I think, I am not a good enough role model. But at least it proves that it’s not a bad thing. I still think that if possible, try to go to a better university because there will be a better atmosphere and a better teacher. Famous schools do not necessarily have talents, but the probability is higher, because the people who read the famous schools themselves are already a small probability. Ordinary schools still have excellent people, but the probability is even smaller.
 
  If the college entrance examination fails, it does not mean that a person is really unfortunate, and it does not mean that you are the one who is not worthy of being favored by God. You can still work hard to become one of those small probabilities.
 
  Many friends said that until now, when the pressure is high, they will still dream about the exam. The memory is too unforgettable.
 
  Can be used as a college entrance exam loser, I really rarely dream of the exam. In my memory, about youth, more is the enrichment of wearing a bicycle wearing a star, and the teacher’s endless gratitude for knowledge. There are no memories of loneliness, depression, and grief.
 
  Because of the failure, I have been a prostitute for more than ten years. I really found that my heart is a reluctant, proud, rational, somewhat rebellious, somewhat derogatory, hard-working, unyielding female, I don’t want to live like most People are like that.
 
  After more than ten years, I opened the graduation album. The strange names are like this: I am very surprised that you are a liberal arts student. The math score is so good, you are really amazing.
 
  Those familiar names are like this: In fact, you can be closer to everyone, don't pretend to be very proud, and people are afraid to approach.
 
  I opened it, I know, actually I have never changed.
 
  In the end, it is still my own to really save myself and release myself.
 
  Although I still feel lonely and hate my own weakness, I spent more than ten years wading through the mountains, groping, hitting the wall, and finally living more like myself.
 
  Because there is always a sentence in my heart : Anyway, I have failed like that, but I am afraid of failure. This sentence sounds pessimistic, but it keeps me brave.
 
  I feel that I should be proud of myself. What do you say?