In the summer of 2016, the weather was very hot, especially in June, the tired air accumulated in the boring classroom, even the sneak peek from the off-campus shop can not suppress the urge to liberate.
 
  In the second year of the second year, because of my cousin’s words , I was sent back to my hometown by my parents from the city where I lived for 12 years. The first time I really left my parents, it was not a rebellious liberation. A stunned, an inexplicable panic.
 
  After returning to my hometown, I took an entrance exam for a private school in the local area. I entered the private school with high tuition and full-time boarding and militarized management with unsuccessful results.
 
  From the second day onwards, the school’s annual college entrance examination season will shout slogans such as “ Struggle for one hundred days”, “Sail for sailing, create brilliant”, “Use sweat to give an account of tomorrow”, etc. This seems to be every Middle school music is loyal to the “good medicine” used to motivate students to work hard and improve their school attendance.
 
  In five years, every day is five nights and ten. In this school, every student has been tamed by the system: get up at 5 o'clock every day to participate in the morning run; only one Sunday afternoon to go out of school, one day and two days off; every night at 11 o'clock to return to the dormitory; not allowed outside the school Buying snacks, catching illegal home education... It ’s a natural consequence that all the systems that do everything in their power to drain students’ learning time are taken for granted.
 
  From the second day to the first year, because it is transferred midway, it is not eligible to enter the Tsinghua class (key class), and can only stay in the regular class, and because the school's general learning process is very fast (the junior high school knowledge has already been completed at the end of the second year) In the third grade, I started to learn the textbooks of Gao Yi.) Therefore, our transfer students have been rushing to catch up with the progress of the Tsinghua class and the science class (the level between the key class and the regular class).
 
  For the students in our school, there is no concept of the senior high school entrance examination . Because the school also has a high school, the students in the school are basically able to rise directly, so we are still learning functions and collections the day before the senior high school entrance examination. As soon as we enter the school, we are educated. "All of your monthly exams are for the college entrance examination." All the efforts are manifested in the 2016 college entrance examination.
 
  In the first year of high school, the classroom was on the fourth floor. The corridor was opposite the second and fourth floors of the second and third. Every day, after returning from the playground, we will see that every classroom in the third year is lit, because the summer is hot. The corridor is crowded with the schoolmasters who hold the English, political, and historical books. At that time, we all envied the students of the third year. First, because they can do morning exercises, you know that they run in the hot and humid air in the morning, just in the morning. Is there a sweat in the bath, and the winter is wrapped in three thick clothes in the cold wind? This should be the day that every student who has experienced a senior year has experienced. Second, because they can be freed from the boring middle school class immediately, they can enter a free and easy university.
 
  At that time, we didn't realize that we would experience these things, and these would make us feel uncomfortable in the future.
 
  In the next semester, I carried out a liberal arts division. As a materialized student, I was forced to pass the mathematics. When mathematics is still able to calculate 1+1=2, it is obviously unwise to choose science. It is foolish behavior, no suspense, I Entered the legendary "Women's Army" - the liberal arts class.
 
  In the first class meeting after the shift, the class teacher highly praised me, saying that I will continue to maintain the grades of the class, and I will definitely be able to go to a good university when I take the college entrance examination.
 
  Throughout the second year of high school, I fully interpreted the role of a "good student", listened carefully to the class, studied hard, and always ranked first in the class, and at the age of the top.
 
  But I am not happy.
 
  I have been pushed on walking, like a sly, puppet without soul, controlled by an unidentified force, the only executive program is to learn and do the problem. For a while, my grades went up and down. The class teacher repeatedly talked to me and said, "You are the leader of the class, you have to imitate the role" and so on. But at that time I felt that it was the time for me to be the most capricious.
 
  I am happy, I am not happy.
 
  The life of the third year can only be understood by personal experience. Some people say that the third year of high school is hell. Some people say that the third year is the papers of the sky, the mock exams that can't be finished, and the questions that can't be finished.
 
  But for me, the third year is my most enjoyable time. In that year, you will feel that the entire class is full of vitality. Everyone’s face is a vision of the future. There is no shortage of worry about the future, but looking back can make efforts to open up the clouds for the future; One year, we can always find a little bit of fun in the irritating study. The class is always stuffy. The class is a group of school children who open. In that year, we can find a reasonable excuse for our weakness. Tears find a reason to see the past.
 
  That year, we lived the most self.
 
  In June of 2016, I took the college entrance examination. I care that I expected everyone to expect that I did not fall out of the list but it was the same as the list. A barely two grades became the account of my three-year high school. Everyone didn't think that I would be in the top of the last mock exam and I would fall in the college entrance examination.
 
  In fact, saying that I don't want to test well is hypocritical humility, I also want to go to a good university, but there is no way. In the college entrance examination, facing these strange problems, I can't start, and even affect the exams that follow. I always thought that this situation can only be exaggerated in the magazine of educational evaluation, I did not expect it to happen to me.
 
  After a period of stagnation, I am annoyed that I am not working hard every day, not serious enough, and I don’t know what to eat. During that period of time, there was a slight depression, and the temper became unpredictable. Now, in retrospect, it was simply dark, dead water filled with ear and nose.
 
  Someone advised me to go back to repeat, but I don't want to spend a year's time on what I have already learned but only for an exam. I want to get in touch with more things. I am eager to fly out of this forest. I don't want to. Think of a successful college entrance examination as a "necessity" of life.
 
  Later, when I went out to work as a summer worker, I realized that everyone is a failure in this society. It is because of failure that there are only basic workers who can’t go to college to work, and those who have a poor family and have to work at a young age...
 
  But they are still working hard.
 
  Every individual in the world is a humble and shallow existence, and it is an example of failure. They have experienced more painful failures than I have, but they are still working hard, they are still jealous, they still have hope.
 
  It seems that I don't seem to have a reason to continue to be decadent. When I filled out my volunteers, I chose a second-class university and came to Wuhan.
 
  After experiencing the college entrance examination, I seem to have begun to look down on everything that is not smooth, and my heart has converged a lot. I will not pursue a fixed success, but focus on the inner process. To say what the three years gave me, it is a habit. Unmistakable, high school for three years made me develop a good habit, this habit has continued to the university, and I believe that will also make future benefits.
 
  I used three years to make a failure.